Here I am again. Heartbroken and discouraged. My recent partner and I broke up mutually. It was mutual because we were not aligned on future and current goals. For me, I want marriage and kids. I also love my family (as crazy as they are) and love to visit and travel to see them. For him, he had not thought about kids or marriage until he gets certain things accomplished, but basically he said no. Also, he says he calls his family sometimes but visiting them he only likes to visit them for a quick weekend on his off season.
During our break up walk, I soon discovered that he was thinking about breaking up with me while I was also thinking this. He said he felt as though he was “leading me on” because he doesn’t have the family goals that I have. And also, I was really messing up his routine. I respect him for sticking to a routine and being goal oriented, really, I do. But apparently, he usually doesn’t date a woman if it messes up his 8-9pm bedtime and his early rise time.
Well, in the same light I usually ask men I am dating early on if they want kids or not and end it if they are not aligned with me. For some reason we both kept it going. A month too long, perhaps.
Now, I am not mad in this break-up. Just sad. We got along very well. Had intellectual conversations, read books together, were our goofy selves together. I connected with him in a way that I have not been in any other relationship. So I am deeply saddened this did not work out. We gave it a real go at it, but unfortunately you just can’t force unalignment on major life goals.
I wish the best for him. I truly do.
Thank you, next?